1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:06,174 Coach: that's it, Folks. Let's Lock up, please. 2 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:08,942 Hey, carla, Can I give you a lift? 3 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,678 I doubt it. 4 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,845 No, really. 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,714 Why don't you Let me give you A ride home? 6 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,083 A ride home? 7 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,085 I know what A ride home means. 8 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,319 What? 9 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,088 We'll get out In front of my place, 10 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:23,591 And you'll say, "Boy, I could sure go For a cup of coffee now." 11 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,059 Out of the goodness Of my heart, 12 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,828 I'll invite you in For a cup of jo. 13 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,897 We'll talk for a while. 14 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,932 It'll get later, quieter. 15 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,834 You'll ask me If my radio works. 16 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,369 I'll say, "Yeah." 17 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,004 You'll put on A soft music station. 18 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,672 A song will come on We both like. 19 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,575 We'll start dancing A little bit around The kitchen floor. 20 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,712 As we're dancing, You'll take a chance. 21 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,081 You'll give me A little kiss right here. 22 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,982 Carla, I'm not That kind of guy. 23 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,452 Shut up and listen. 24 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,588 You give me a little Kiss me right here, 25 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,457 Then you give me A little nibble On the ear. 26 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:57,458 Which ear? 27 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,692 Your choice. 28 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,128 I respond reluctantly, 29 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,663 Which really Makes you crazy. 30 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,837 * makin' your way In the world today * 31 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,673 * takes everything you got * 32 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,509 * takin' a break From all your worries * 33 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,779 * sure would help a lot * 34 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:24,818 * wouldn't you like To get away * 35 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,620 * sometimes you wanna go * 36 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:32,193 * where everybody Knows your name * 37 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:36,630 * and they're always Glad you came * 38 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,367 * you wanna be Where you can see * 39 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,802 * our troubles Are all the same * 40 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:47,175 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 41 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,643 * you wanna go Where people know * 42 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:52,280 * people are all the same * 43 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:57,185 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 44 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,996 Hi. My name's Ernie pantuso. 45 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:12,132 I'm supposed to tell you What happened last week On cheers. 46 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,701 I'm good at explaining things 47 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,170 Because I used to be A baseball coach. 48 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,005 Here, let me illustrate. 49 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:21,175 Now, you may remember me From my playing days In the minors. 50 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,476 I still hold The league record 51 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,912 For the most times Hit by a pitch. 52 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,146 That's as good as a hit. 53 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,981 Anyway...Where was I? 54 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,418 Oh, last week on cheers, 55 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:33,153 This fella, semenko, Came into the bar. 56 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,423 He's a very famous artist. 57 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,992 While he was here, this Semenko fella saw diane 58 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,728 And he got an idea. 59 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,630 He decided To paint her picture. 60 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,298 He thought there was Something special About her puss. 61 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,133 Diane loved the idea 62 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:49,036 Because she'd heard Of this fella And thought he was good. 63 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:52,105 And as you all know, Diane's very smart. 64 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:56,410 Well, the trouble is, When sam met this artist, Semenko, 65 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,011 He hated him. 66 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,481 He told him he couldn't Paint diane's picture, 67 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,516 And he told him to get out Of the place. 68 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,117 Semenko started to go, 69 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,686 And sam left the room. 70 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,488 Diane pretended To go along, 71 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,057 But then diane Went behind sam's back. 72 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,459 Hey, wait a minute. 73 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,160 This is starting to look Like a diagram 74 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,928 For our old Double steal. 75 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,265 As soon as the pitcher Goes into his windup, 76 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,832 The runner on first Breaks for second, 77 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,634 And the runner on second Breaks for third. 78 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,436 Or if second and third Are occupied, 79 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,272 The runner on second Breaks for third 80 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:25,806 And the man on third Goes home. 81 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,575 The batter hits the ball To the opposite field, 82 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,943 Which means the field Plays to home plate. 83 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,545 Now, wait a minute. 84 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,781 I'm sorry. This isn't The double steal at all. 85 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:37,150 These are directions To my daughter's house. 86 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:41,989 No, I'm wrong again. She moved. Or did she? 87 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:45,359 Anyway, diane was going Behind sam's back. 88 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:49,397 Wait. I really Want you to paint me. 89 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:50,931 What about That malignant growth 90 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,300 You call a boyfriend? 91 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,401 Once he sees The finished work, 92 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,902 He'll forgive me. 93 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,805 He'll forgive you. He'll forgive Everything. 94 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,407 He'll hate it, 95 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,174 And he'll hate you For doing it. 96 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,544 So you won't do it? 97 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,313 I'll do it for free. 98 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:08,081 Listen, I don't know about you, But I'm worried. 99 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,352 I can't remember Where my daughter lives. 100 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,186 Oh, well, you're up to date. 101 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,356 Let me see. It's somewhere in new england, 102 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:18,025 Something something lane Or drive... 103 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,073 Ok, listen up, Everybody, will you? 104 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,343 The picnic is off. 105 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,845 Why is that, coach? 106 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,814 Lack of interest... I'm just calling it quits. 107 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,216 Sorry we spoiled Your picnic, coach. 108 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,852 My picnic? 109 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:49,256 You think I was Doing this all for me? 110 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,524 Do you think I like 111 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,560 Sitting out there In the dust and the dirt 112 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,195 And fighting the ants For a chicken leg? 113 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,265 I can do that at home. 114 00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,933 But, listen, Forget everything. 115 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,502 Just forget the picnic. 116 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,937 Forget my sweat And all my work. 117 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,839 Forget me. 118 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,809 Aw, what the heck. 119 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,378 I'm going To coach's picnic. 120 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:13,914 Stick my name up there Too, will you, sharkey? 121 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,322 The "Pathetic old man" bit, Carla--works like a charm. 122 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,394 Afternoon, everybody. 123 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,729 Norm! Norm! Norm! 124 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,399 What's up, normie? 125 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,401 The temperature Under my collar, Coach. 126 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,536 Oh, what's the matter There, big guy? 127 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,338 That damn hungry heifer Restaurant again. 128 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,807 The place is the pits. 129 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,443 Wait. You went back? I thought you hated it There. 130 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:45,178 I got lured back By their surf-and-turf Special. 131 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,281 Oh, yeah. What's that, Lobster and steak, huh? 132 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,884 Tuna fish sandwich With beef gravy. 133 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,825 Well, diane is late Again today. 134 00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,861 You know something? She's been late Every day this week. 135 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,996 Ever since sammy Threw that guy Semenko 136 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,231 Out of the bar. 137 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:08,168 Well, I could have told Sammy a lot about that guy. 138 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,703 He's a real head case. 139 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,474 And, like all artists Worthy of the name, 140 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:17,511 The man is a homosexual. 141 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,846 Come on, cliff. You think that everybody 142 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,981 Who's the slightest Bit different is gay. 143 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:24,818 Oh, hey, no. I'm giving you The benefit of the doubt. 144 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,187 All right. You think that all Artists are gay. 145 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,289 Absolutely. I mean, If you don't believe me, 146 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:32,593 I can bring down This coffee table book I got at home. 147 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,828 Nude male statuary. 148 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,697 And you tell me After you look At those pictures 149 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:41,702 If the guys who chiseled Those lads aren't a little Light in the loafers. 150 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,754 Phillip... 151 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,390 That's wonderful. 152 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,959 Really, it is. 153 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,198 Damn it! 154 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,166 I've run out of talent. 155 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,936 Phillip... 156 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,905 I'm worthless. 157 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,407 I'm a dog. 158 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:24,011 Stick a knife Between my shoulder blades. 159 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,045 Phillip, please. 160 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,447 You do this every day. 161 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,217 Today, it's different. 162 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,785 I've really lost it. 163 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,054 Is there anything I can do? 164 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,222 There is one thing. 165 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:38,025 Well, anything. What? 166 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,993 Let's go to bed. 167 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,031 You want to... 168 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,265 Make love? 169 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,366 No. I always Take a nap 170 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,936 With a blond In the afternoon. 171 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,238 Phillip, I don't know What to say. 172 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:54,908 I thought we had A professional relationship. 173 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,545 Ok. Afterwards, You can pay me. 174 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,349 I make love To everything I paint. 175 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,617 Your most famous Painting 176 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,687 Is of the harvard/yale Football game. 177 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,658 Yes. I spent Three months in jail. 178 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:15,529 College types Don't understand me. 179 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,799 I do, however, still get A few christmas cards. 180 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,736 Phillip... 181 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,640 You're a very Talented man. 182 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,709 If we had met At a different time, 183 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:29,677 In a different place-- 184 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,244 Wait a minute. 185 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:34,281 The problem is not My talent. It's you. 186 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,416 You've lost your agony. 187 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,719 You've lost that Sense of anguish 188 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,821 That drew me to you. 189 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,891 I'm dreadfully sorry. What should I do to get unhappy? 190 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:47,628 Why don't you go see What bullwinkle's doing? 191 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,198 Don't call him that. 192 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,365 Who? 193 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,535 I know to whom You are referring. 194 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,872 You're always making Remarks about him. 195 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,507 I don't like that. 196 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,675 You don't know him. 197 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,310 I know him. 198 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,713 I know him Better than you do. 199 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,548 What a prize! 200 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,852 Phillip, stop. 201 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:16,590 I admit, sam and I are Very different people. 202 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,826 Sometimes, that's good. 203 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,796 Sometimes It's not so good. 204 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,299 Sometimes He makes me cry. 205 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:32,773 Sometimes he hurts me And seems to like it. 206 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,544 That's it. 207 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:38,846 It's back. 208 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:41,381 The torment is back, 209 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:44,885 And with it, My brilliance. 210 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,289 I'll put Some coffee on. 211 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,324 Never mind. I'm done. 212 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,795 What? 213 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:05,372 Oh, phillip... 214 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,875 I love it. 215 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,010 So will sam. He will. 216 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,745 Ha! 217 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,715 Ok, I got it. 218 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,049 My problems are solved. 219 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:20,353 An exploding pizza For diane? 220 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:23,223 No. That's good, but no. 221 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,858 Remember how she was So disappointed 222 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,127 That I wouldn't let That smirnoff guy paint her? 223 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,829 She keeps insisting He's a great artist. 224 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,832 We all know What that means, right? 225 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,434 Well, I finally got something To cheer her up here. 226 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,705 I had somebody do A great painting of her From those photographs 227 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,740 That weren't good enough For laughing boy. 228 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,675 Where did you get it, sam? 229 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,746 I saw an ad In tv guide-- 230 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,180 You know, the one with The cover story 231 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,516 About the 10 cutest Sitcom kids. 232 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,752 Oh, yeah. Interesting reading. 233 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:55,756 Well, this guy takes An ordinary photograph, 234 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,991 And he turns it Into a work of art. 235 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,192 Are you ready for this? 236 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,994 Yeah. 237 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,807 Good one, sammy. 238 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,646 Even I think That's tacky! 239 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:22,149 Real jerky, huh? 240 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:23,516 I knew that. 241 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,752 Don't you worry About me. 242 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,755 I knew that. 243 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,389 A real work of art There, sam. 244 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,291 This is great, actually. 245 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,560 I was afraid She might think I was serious, 246 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,797 But I see now That the humor of this 247 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,900 Isn't wasted On anybody. 248 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,371 Diane: It's of one The most powerful 249 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,808 Visual statements Of melancholy I've ever seen, 250 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,276 And sam will appreciate 251 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:54,014 That it's atrabilious, Yet not a bit lugubrious. 252 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:57,584 If you think sam's going To love this painting, 253 00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,453 You're crazier than I'm accused of being. 254 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,693 Go ahead And show it to him. 255 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:09,529 Good-bye. 256 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,898 You're not Coming to the bar 257 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,966 To show it to...Everyone? 258 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:18,005 No, but say hi to all The gang for me. 259 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,907 Besides, I think You should be alone 260 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,843 With mortimer tomorrow. 261 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,644 Don't call him that, 262 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,580 And why should I Be alone with him? 263 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:31,018 Because It's the last time You'll ever see him. 264 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,839 Hi, carla. Sorry I'm late. 265 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:54,641 Yeah, yeah. 266 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,043 What's that? 267 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:59,146 The large package Is a portrait of me. 268 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,681 It's that weirdo artist That sam threw Out of here, right? 269 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:04,617 I knew what You've been doing All this week. 270 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,153 You figured it out? 271 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,822 Of course. It's all so obvious. 272 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,558 Carla, I've been late A lot this week. 273 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:15,829 You've had to do a lot Of extra work. Here. 274 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:16,964 What is it? 275 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,299 It's a gift. 276 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,269 My way of saying you did Something nice for me, 277 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,471 And I thank you. 278 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,882 Hey! That's beautiful! 279 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:35,949 I thought You could wear it 280 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:36,950 With your purple outfit. 281 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,287 Yeah! Yeah, I probably can! 282 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,255 Carla... 283 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,958 It's polite To express gratitude 284 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,427 When one is Given a gift. 285 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,529 Yeah, right. 286 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,548 Damn! I loved That thing, too. 287 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,782 Carla, keep it. 288 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,551 Oh, good! 289 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:14,955 Where's sam? 290 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,356 In the back. 291 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,959 Carla, why don't you Take the day off? 292 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,394 I'll cover. I owe it to you. 293 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,629 Go join the picnic. 294 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:26,566 Uh-uh. Ok. I know What you're doing here. 295 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,168 I see what you're up to. 296 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:31,738 You're doing all this Just to get me to say 297 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:34,441 That thing that People say 298 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,044 When other people Do favors for them. 299 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,011 You don't have to Say it. 300 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,312 Go ahead and go. 301 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,548 I don't? Well, thank you! 302 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,384 Aah! Ohh! Ohh! Yuck! 303 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,454 Oh, I have to Punish my tongue! 304 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,091 Aaagh! 305 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,265 Hey, babe, what's up? 306 00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,933 This. 307 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,701 What's that? 308 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,104 It's a painting of me. 309 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,175 It was that semenko guy, Wasn't it? 310 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,143 You went behind my back. 311 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,811 I told you I didn't want you To do this. 312 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,647 You knew exactly how I Felt, and yet you went Ahead and did it. 313 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:18,451 Sam, let's not talk Until after you look at it. 314 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,020 I don't want to Look at it. 315 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,854 I want An explanation here. 316 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,857 This is my explanation! 317 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,059 Fine, fine, fine. 318 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,894 I'll look At the damn thing. 319 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:30,163 No, I don't want you To look at it in that Frame of mind. 320 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,764 Well, tough. Tough! 321 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,567 No, you're upset, And I don't want you To look at it 322 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,270 Until your mind is open. 323 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,573 It's filled with animosity To phillip and me. 324 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,641 It is not. 325 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,710 My mind is Completely empty, All right? 326 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:47,247 No! I'm not going to Have you look at this Until you calm down. 327 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,982 You're crazy, You know that? 328 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,918 First, you bring in this And tell me that you Want me to look at it, 329 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,653 And now you won't Let me look at it. 330 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,188 You can look at it. 331 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:59,259 I just have to see some Evidence of calmness. 332 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,494 I'm calm, diane. 333 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,829 No, you're not. 334 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,498 I am calm. 335 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,799 No, you're not. 336 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,301 I'm calm. 337 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:12,439 If I were Any more calm, I would be dead. 338 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,909 Your knuckles are white, And your jaw muscles Are quivering. 339 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,546 I get that way When I'm about To look at art. 340 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,548 Now come on. 341 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,318 We'll do this later. 342 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,188 Fine. Fine, fine, Fine, fine, fine. 343 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:31,624 I don't want anything To distract you 344 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,626 From your enjoyment Of this painting. 345 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,163 When you see it, You'll understand 346 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,032 And forgive. 347 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,401 What happens If I hate it? 348 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,303 I know you're going To love it, 349 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,737 Because in the last Six months, 350 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:49,442 You've come so far And made So much progress. 351 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,279 You know, you sound Like you're talking About a chimp. 352 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:53,713 I just push The right buttons 353 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,183 And out pops a banana. 354 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:59,219 That's a ludicrous Comparison. 355 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,220 There isn't A chimp alive 356 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:03,456 Who could Keep up with you. 357 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,624 You know, You always do this. 358 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,592 I really hate it. 359 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,160 You think you have To tell poor sam 360 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,962 What he should like, What he shouldn't like, 361 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:12,299 How he should walk, How he should talk, 362 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,934 What fork he should use With his soup and salad. 363 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,035 I know. I know! 364 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,604 You don't use a fork With soup! 365 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:20,140 I just said you use A fork with soup. It was a mistake. 366 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,308 Please do not say, 367 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,809 "You don't use a fork With soup." 368 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,577 If you do nothing else For me the rest Of your life, 369 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,578 Do not say, 370 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:28,781 "You don't use a fork With soup." 371 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,551 My god, sam. 372 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,187 I've made you A babbling idiot. 373 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,755 Who are you calling A babbling idiot, huh? 374 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:36,923 Don't get upset. 375 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:39,192 I'm actually Criticizing myself. 376 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,527 You just called me A babbling idiot, 377 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,396 And you're Criticizing yourself? 378 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,133 Do me a favor. Let me criticize me For a while, huh? 379 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,368 You're sickening. 380 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,674 I should have known. 381 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:58,311 I tried to convince Myself that you-- That I'm-- 382 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,513 That we're-- 383 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:05,952 This relationship Has always been 384 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,054 A contest of wills. 385 00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,257 I give up. 386 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,059 All my rage is gone. 387 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:16,129 Maybe everything is gone. 388 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,530 Wait. Ah, I see what You're doing here. 389 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:21,368 You don't want to fight Because I'm winning. 390 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:24,137 I hammered you pretty Good on this one, huh? 391 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,405 Actually, I've won A lot of these babies. 392 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,040 I just never Mentioned it before. 393 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,909 Yeah. Come on. 394 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:33,079 I'm leaving. I find this Very tiresome all Of a sudden. 395 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,514 Oh, no, no. You're Not leaving yet, 396 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:37,817 Not until we've Had a brouhaha. 397 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:40,453 Brou on your own haha. 398 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,122 I tell you, I'm through. 399 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,924 I'm empty. 400 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,992 Oh, yeah? 401 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:46,959 The only thing Empty about you 402 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:50,129 Is your head. Ha! Huh? 403 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,531 You go out That door now, 404 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:54,301 I'm gonna be Crawling with Chicks by sundown. 405 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:58,471 Wait, wait, wait. I'm not through yet. 406 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,407 Watch this. I'm Gonna do it, too. 407 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,875 I really am Going to do this. 408 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,912 All right. All right. 409 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,915 Wait, wait, wait. I'm saving My best for last here. 410 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,217 Are you ready For my best? 411 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:12,752 Ok, this is My best shot right here. 412 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,193 Oh, my god. 413 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,495 Childish? 414 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:27,267 It's degrading to me, To you, 415 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,502 To the human race! 416 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,275 This doesn't bother me At all, sam. 417 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,810 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 418 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,979 Got you. Got you. 419 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,180 I win, again. 420 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,283 I want you To know something. 421 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,417 Ever since We've known each other, 422 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,852 I've said to myself, 423 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,689 "One day, we are going to Get down to the real you." 424 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,625 Well, we did it. 425 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,294 Do you know what The difference is 426 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,029 Between you And a fat, braying ass? 427 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,398 Nope. 428 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,301 The fat, Braying ass would. 429 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,739 Speaking of fat, Braying asses, 430 00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,276 You're about to get Dumped on yours. 431 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,945 How dare you slap me? 432 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,318 Don't you ever Hit me again! 433 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,952 Like hell. 434 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:25,992 You always think 435 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,159 You got to get The last one in. 436 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,895 All right. Come on. 437 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,030 Ow! Ow! 438 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,832 Come on. 439 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,434 Please, come on. Let go. All right? 440 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,936 You first. All right. All right. 441 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,906 On the count of 3. 442 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,541 1... 443 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,809 2... 444 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,844 3...Now. 445 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,148 You're not Letting go! 446 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,483 You're Squeezing harder! 447 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,819 That's because You're not letting go. 448 00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:55,021 I'm not letting go Because you're Squeezing harder. 449 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,456 Ow! Ow! 450 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,791 Come on! Come on! 451 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,393 This is it. 452 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,996 We have sunk as low... 453 00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:07,800 As human beings Can sink! 454 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,870 There's no Degradation left. 455 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:13,573 Ah. 456 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,941 Ooh. 457 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,377 Heh. 458 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,078 Are you ok? 459 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:22,415 Do I look ok? 460 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:25,852 Actually, you look A little like rudolph. 461 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:30,857 Come to me, my sweet Little reindeer. 462 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,860 Your big old stag's In town. 463 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:34,661 Don't touch me. 464 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:35,862 Oh, come on. Come on. 465 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:36,863 You hit me! 466 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:38,765 Well, not hard. 467 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,168 What does that mean, "Not hard"? 468 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:45,505 It means not as hard As I wanted to. 469 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:46,839 I'm leaving. 470 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,708 No. Wait, wait. You're not leaving yet, 471 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,176 Not until I say One more thing. 472 00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:53,112 Oh, what? 473 00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:55,014 Get the hell Out of here. 474 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:06,325 You are about to cross A very dangerous line. 475 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,961 You heard me. I want you out. 476 00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,197 If this is coming Out of the heat Of the moment, 477 00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:13,866 It is a very bad mistake, 478 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:17,003 One which you will never Be able to correct. 479 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,071 Out. 480 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:20,139 Because if I go, 481 00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:24,176 I am never, ever Coming back. 482 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,312 Can I get that In writing? 483 00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:27,914 Oh, damn. I only got pencils. 484 00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,516 I'd sure like To get this in ink. 485 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,350 Don't joke, sam! 486 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,653 I mean it! 487 00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:35,354 And I want you To understand, 488 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,458 If you don't stop me now, 489 00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:41,661 This is the last time You'll ever see me. 490 00:22:58,445 --> 00:23:00,580 Fine. 491 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:04,884 Hey... 492 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,486 Diane. 493 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:11,824 This is it, huh? 494 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,867 This is it. 495 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,472 Good-bye. 496 00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:27,507 Good-bye. 497 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:29,001 Wow.